How to Build the Laggiest Website Possible
How to Build the Laggiest Website Possible
Step 1: Choose the Right Platform
Use page-builders like Wix or WordPress with as many plugins as possible. More plugins mean more lag.
Step 2: Use Render-Blocking JavaScript
Include numerous scripts like Google Analytics and Maps at the top of your <body>
tag to slow down loading.
Step 3: Hoard Unused CSS
Add excessive CSS from various sources, even if not used. Avoid frameworks that optimize CSS.
Step 4: Go Big with Images
Use large, inefficient image formats without resizing. JavaScript for image effects adds to the processing load.
Step 5 (Bonus): Add Cumulative Layout Shift
Introduce CLS by making elements shift as the page loads, frustrating users and highlighting your website’s slowness.
Conclusion
Embrace the lag by following these steps to create a website that will make users nostalgic for dial-up speeds.